For Friends and Family
Experiencing interpersonal violence is often a traumatic event. It can affect the way the brain and body work together. A survivor’s response to trauma entails courage, strength, and resiliency. If you are supporting a friend or family member who has experienced any form of sexual assault (including inappropriate touch), sexual harassment, dating/domestic violence, sexual exploitation, and/or stalking) believe them without looking for proof and/or reason. It is not your job and you can cause more emotional/psychological harm by asking probing or investigative questions. This type of support takes the brain and body’s response to violence into account. Beyond validating that something harmful happened to them, providing trauma informed support is essential. Trauma informed support takes the brain and body's response to violence into account. These considerations in your interaction can make a world of difference for a survivor's healing.
Consider the Surroundings
- Does the student feel safe right now? Is this area private or confidential? What would help the student feel more comfortable?
- Does the student want someone else there, a glass of water, or a closed or open door?
Make sure to turn your full attention to the student by turning off cell phones and minimizing distractions.
Things You Can Say
- “Thanks for coming to see me or telling me or calling.”
- “Take your time.”
- “What is your biggest concern right now?”
- “What’s on your mind?”
- “You’re safe here.”
- “What would help you the most today?”
- “You have support at Emory.”
- “No one should have to face something like this alone.”
- “How are you feeling?”
- “No one asks to be sexually assaulted or abused.”
- “You did what you needed to do to make it through.”
- “Feel free to say whatever is on your mind.”
- “You’re not burdening me. I’m here to help.”
- “We don’t have to figure everything out at once. Let’s take it one step at a time.”
- “I believe you.”
You can also say nothing. Be comfortable with some silence and pauses. Your presence and listening ear can be enough.
Don’t Forget: Take care of yourself. It can be challenging or emotionally draining to support someone who has experienced something traumatic. We encourage you to contact us at the Office of Respect (respect@emory.edu), and we can connect you with national and local professional counseling resources.